PELIPOST | THE OFFICIAL BLOG

The leaves are changing, pumpkin spice is everywhere, and holiday decorations are starting to pop up in stores. For most families, this signals the beginning of a season filled with joy, traditions, and togetherness. But if you have a loved one who's incarcerated, the approaching holidays can feel overwhelming and heartbreaking.

Whether this is your first holiday season with someone behind bars or you've been through this before, we want you to know: you're not alone, and the holidays can still be meaningful for both you and your incarcerated loved one.

At Pelipost, we've learned so much from our community about how to navigate this challenging time. Today, we're sharing practical advice, real stories from our Pelipost family, and insights from our Co-Founder Becky, who experienced holidays while incarcerated firsthand.

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The Reality: Holidays Are Hard, But They're Still Celebrated Inside

Let's be honest – the holidays are tough when someone you love is in prison. You miss them and might wonder what the holidays will be like for them, or if it's even possible to have a merry Christmas while in jail or prison.

But here's something that might surprise you: holidays aren't ignored inside prison walls.

As Becky, Pelipost's Co-Founder and COO, shared from her experience: "Christmas was big- as big as it can be in there. We would get toilet paper or stuff like that and we would try and make snowflakes out of it and decorate our windows and stuff like that. It's simply amazing what just using your imagination you can do to get into the Christmas spirit and to feel like you're bringing it in to yourself so that you can celebrate it, because it's still a celebration. You still want to celebrate the holidays."

The holidays become a time for creativity, community, and connection inside. "You truly become family with the people in your cell or the people that you see every day," Becky explains. "Thanksgiving, it wasn't a thing that you like, ignore. We all knew it was Thanksgiving- 'What are we going to do for Thanksgiving?' 'Let's share stories,' 'let's talk,' 'let's watch something special on TV.' You know, you find a way to make it celebratory."

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How You Can Bring the Holidays In

The beautiful truth is that your love and connection can cross those prison walls and brighten your loved one's holiday season. Here's how:

Letters and Cards: More Precious Than Gold

"The value of a card changes. And what I mean is, out here where you can go and see hundreds of thousands of cards at Hallmark Store or anything like that, inside, when you receive a card, it means so much more," Becky explains.

One Pelipost family member shared: "The holidays we have had since incarceration, I just make sure to send a funny card to make him smile, along with pics of the people and things most important to him."

Pro tip: Don't just send one card. "I always send him multiple cards and pictures and I buy him the maximum amount of gift baskets," shared another community member.

Remember, sending a letter or a card is like sending a piece of home to your incarcerated loved one. Holding a card or letter in their hands is a powerful reminder that they are not forgotten.

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Photos: Windows to Your World

Photos are absolutely magical for people inside. They're not just pictures – they're lifelines to the outside world.

"A few weeks before Christmas and the holidays, holiday parties start happening, family gatherings start happening. Scenery, Christmas lights on the house, things that you take for granted," Becky reminds us. "Things like that- those photos can be used to decorate the room because they're lights. They bring new life, they bring Christmas in to us."

Becky continues: "When I was feeling like my tank was running on empty, with feelings, with emotions, with trying to get through another week, and I would get the envelope and pictures and reminders of home, it would refuel my gas tank and make it possible for me just to get through another week or another month or whatever it was."

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What Photos to Send:

• Holiday decorations and lights around your neighborhood
• Family gatherings and celebrations
• Kids playing or opening gifts
• Holiday meals you're preparing
• Everyday moments that show life continuing

Don't worry about making them sad by showing what they're missing. "A lot of my family used to think that receiving photos of the holidays was hurtful to me," Becky recalls. "For me, it actually helped to see the families still going on, still celebrating, still living life. And although I was on the inside, it made me personally feel good that people were okay."

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Phone Calls: The Sound of Home

"My fiancé and me take long phone calls and express our love for each other," one community member shared. During holiday calls, try "talking about the things we like/liked doing most at or around Christmas. What they'd like to do the first Christmas they are out."

Simple updates mean the world: "Wait for him to call then tell him about all the lights," shared another Pelipost family member.

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Visits: Being Together in Person

If you can visit during the holidays, it's incredibly meaningful. "Visiting and sending holiday cards showing how much I love him. To make him feel like he's not alone and that I'm always going to be there to support him," shared one Pelipost family member.

Some facilities offer special holiday visits with relaxed rules. As we learned from other families, during annual holiday celebrations at some prisons, families are "spared some typical visitation restrictions and could hug their mother as much as they wanted."

Virtual visits are becoming more common too. "We hope to video chat sometime during the holidays. It lets him know that is still part of the family and we are moving on from the events that led to his imprisonment," shared another community member.

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Creating New Traditions Together

Even with physical separation, you can create meaningful holiday traditions:

Holiday Memory Sharing

"One thing that we did when we wanted to do something special was sharing of the mail we had received that previous year, anything special that we wanted to share. And we had a bunch of letters and that kept us all busy. So sharing our pictures, sharing just where we were, where our families were," Becky recalls.

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Collaborative Gift-Giving

Take inspiration from Mon'e Jackson-Cross, who signs presents "From mom and dad" even though her husband can't shop from prison. Instead, "he asks for photos of the sneakers or toys she is considering so that he can help decide what to gift their children."

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Holiday Meal Planning

"You prepare for your Christmas meal. You start when you have canteen, and you buy your products. And who is going to do what- 'I'm in charge of the cheesecake,' 'Who's in charge of this?' It's like a little potluck that you create, trying very hard to maintain the spirit," Becky explains.

You can coordinate by discussing what you're both planning to eat and sharing photos of your holiday meals.

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For First-Time Families: You Can Do This

If this is your first holiday season with a loved one incarcerated, our hearts go out to you. One community member shared: "This will be mine and my daughter first year without my boyfriend for the holidays. So, I hope to be able to visit in person and on video visits so make it not as hard. Either way it will still be very hard though."

It's okay to acknowledge that it will be hard. But know that thousands of families navigate this successfully every year, and there are ways to make it meaningful and connected.

Why This Matters So Much

Your efforts to stay connected during the holidays aren't just nice gestures – they're genuinely life-changing for your incarcerated loved one.

Research shows that "maintaining healthy family ties helps improve people's health and behavior and decreases the odds that they will return to prison."

As Monica from our Pelipost family beautifully explained: "The holidays seem to be an even harder time for people behind bars. They are away from their loved ones and not able to give or receive gifts or hugs... I want to show them they are still very much loved and not forgotten even though they aren't able to be with us right now. It's crucial to keep their spirits up so they don't give up... Knowing they still have support of loved ones increases the chances of successfully re-entering the world outside of prison."

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Making It Easier with Pelipost

We created Pelipost because we know how important these connections are, especially during the holidays. Our app makes it simple to send photos regularly, so your loved one always has fresh reminders of home and your love.

Whether you're sending photos of fall leaves, Halloween decorations, Thanksgiving preparations, or Christmas lights, every image you share through Pelipost becomes a treasured piece of the outside world for someone inside.

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Looking Ahead with Hope

As the holidays approach, remember that "Christmas was really a time to sit, eat, and reflect. Everyone knew it was Christmas. We celebrated it, and just made it joyful, as joyful as you can while you're in there," Becky recalls.

Your loved one wants to celebrate, and they're finding ways to do so. By staying connected through photos, calls, letters, and visits, you're helping them maintain hope and feel included in your family's celebrations.

"To see the joy being shared, and to see pictures of grandma holding a baby, or granddad with all the kids trying to play football, or any kind of moments that are happening out there, you're happy for your family. You're happy for the people that are out there. And to me, it brought me joy to see the people out there and how they were sharing within family and friends and how beautiful it is- beautiful memories," Becky shared.

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Your Holiday Action Plan

As we head into the holiday season, here's your simple action plan:

1. Start early - Begin sending holiday photos and cards now
2. Be consistent - Regular contact matters more than perfect timing
3. Include them in planning - Ask their opinion on gifts, meals, or decorations
4. Share everything - Don't hold back photos because you think they might be sad
5. Schedule special calls - Plan extra phone time during holidays
6. Send multiple items - Cards, photos, and letters all matter
7. Create new traditions - Find ways to celebrate together despite the distance

Remember, every photo, every card, and every call is a lifeline of love and support. It's a reminder that family bonds transcend physical barriers, and that the true spirit of the holidays lies in the connections we nurture and maintain, regardless of circumstances.

The holidays can be hard, but they don't have to be hopeless. With love, creativity, and connection, you can make this season meaningful for both you and your incarcerated loved one.

From all of us at Pelipost, we're here to support you through this journey. You're stronger than you know, and your love makes more difference than you realize.

Ready to start sharing photos with your loved one? Download the Pelipost app from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store to get started today.

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References

This guide was created by combining insights from multiple sources and real experiences from our Pelipost community:

Pelipost Blog Articles:

• Spending the Holidays in Prison
• What is it Like Spending Christmas in Prison?
• How is Thanksgiving Celebrated in Jail or Prison?

Additional Resources:

• Staying Connected When Your Loved One Is in Prison - Vera Institute of Justice
• Survey responses from Pelipost community members
• Interview insights from Becky, Pelipost Co-Founder and COO

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